It’s said that no man can look Mike squarely in both eyes at the same time, so halting his glare.*
* actually his nose is so wide one has to make both their eyes rotate outward at a twenty degree angle to accomplish this physiological feat. It’s rumored that Mayor Lori Lightfoot has successfully stared Mad Dog Mike down, and he immediately turned to stone. Fortunately no one has defaced the stone with a hate hoax as per anyone’s legal will last instructions or anything. Mike wouldn’t wanna slander some boring-ass quiet Gentile or anything.
Banned Hipster 
The ragin’ rabid rebbe rebel mighty mad-dog Mike.
It’s said that no man can look Mike squarely in both eyes at the same time, so halting his glare.*
* actually his nose is so wide one has to make both their eyes rotate outward at a twenty degree angle to accomplish this physiological feat. It’s rumored that Mayor Lori Lightfoot has successfully stared Mad Dog Mike down, and he immediately turned to stone. Fortunately no one has defaced the stone with a hate hoax as per anyone’s legal will last instructions or anything. Mike wouldn’t wanna slander some boring-ass quiet Gentile or anything.
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