Except for sailors and ex-cons.


So should piercings, except for earrings, and slutty gals should be allowed an eyebrow ring to signal she’s available for casual sex. Who in the world convinced young women that literally putting a cow ring in their nose was sexy? Of course those “gauges” should be banned with extreme prejudice.

But it’s not just women. Even just regular guys look like trash with tattoos, especially those idiotic sleeves. Barbed wire on your arms? That screams “try hard.”

I consider it a sign of mental illness, both tats and piercings.

Interestingly, rock stars were not hard hit [by AIDS]: after Freddie Mercury, the most famous victim was … who? The guy in the B-52s? Rock stars tend to be the not terribly masculine pretty boys who figure out it’s a good way to get girls.


To be a female pop star, you have to be good looking or a good singer or both. But to be a male rock star, you can look like the Mad Hatter in Tenniel’s illustrations for Alice in Wonderland and sing like, well, I don’t know what Petty sang like.


Petty was an artsy redneck. Here’s his 1985 video “Don’t You Come Around Here No More” combining an ominous Scots-Irish warning with Petty’s Mad Hatter resemblance:

Rock stars tend to start as delicate, artistic, high-cheekboned, not terribly masculine heterosexuals who drive young girls wild. (How many burly rock singers have their been? The singer in Smashmouth, and probably some country rockers. But the classic rock band frontman is wiry.)

The youngest girls tend to go for the boy band practice boyfriend types like The Beatles in 1964, while the slightly older ones tend to go for the leering, concupiscent Rolling Stones in 1965 types.

The classic rock star look is often a weird combination of pretty and grotesque, like Steven Tyler of Aerosmith. But to be/stay a huge star, you need male fans. The young girl audience isn’t loyal. There is always somebody new. So rock stars often butch up their acts: Springsteen as working man, Petty as redneck, Strummer as Kiplingesque soldier of fortune.

Sailer also said that women like rock stars because their looks suggest they will have beautiful daughters, and then her daughter can be the Belle of the Ball.