Washington DC is Hollywood for ugly people – but it doesn’t have to be. Appearance Reform is the politics of possibility.

Hollywood actors can read a speech better than a “real politician” like, say, Newt Gingrich. Ronald Reagan was an actor. They had professional Hollywood writers writing Reagan’s jokes, which they would write on 3×5 cards, which Reagan would read from.

Reagan had great timing and they have a great highlight reel of his best Presidential appearances on Youtube. It’s one long “In Soviet Russia, joke tells you!” joke. Did you hear the one about the liberal?

Matthew McConaughey is socially liberal in the sense he’s not bad, but he’s also conservative in the good, personal sense. Use the techno-geek-speak: be promiscuous in what you accept, but conservative in what your emit. So of course Matthew McConaughey supports same-sex marriage for those who want it, and opposite-sex marriage for those who want that. Always supportive of the sanctity to choose life. A strong military and independence from foreign oil by leveraging Green Carbon Fracking.

Matthew McConaughey is like Beto O’Rourke, but cooler and less gay. In fact, he’s the kind of guy you could have a beer with, and take your shirts off cause you’ll get more chicks.