The Örebro Party is a local political party in Örebro, Sweden. The party cannot be placed anywhere on the traditional left-right spectrum, and instead focuses on local issues. Some of its key issues include lowered wages for politicians, stricter migration policy, and free dental care.

  1. Cut the pay of politicians (I would also accept a special tax on them.)
  2. Stricter migration policy, i.e., Build That Wall!
  3. Free dental care.

Don’t blow off #3 as an abstraction either. This is a local party focusing on local issues. Maybe in Örebro, Sweden, for complex local reasons, there is a problem with dental health and a lack of dental schools.

As a non-ideologue, the point is Dentists for the People. If the free market can take care of this issue, great. If we need some sort of government program, ok.

Maybe we can do like they did with littering. Constantly show an emotional commercial of an Italian actor dressed up like an Indian canoeing down the river crying at all the trash left by the White man. But instead of littering, show an Indian crying at all those candy and soda advertisements and a bunch of pictures of poor kids with overbites and crooked incisors.

Even better: a dramatic, sexy TV show heroizing dentists. Like NCIS: Los Angeles, but instead of Navy Intelligence they are dentists rescuing poor children from badly fitting braces and roughing up the Candy Pushers destroying the neighborhood.

Obviously, our version of the Örebro Party is Tusi Gabbard.

There is no cohesive ideology that explains the idiosyncratic political positioning, no single point of reference from which it all makes sense, and so the relevant question regarding Tulsi Gabbard is reducible to: What is she doing?

Tulsi Gabbard just doesn’t make sense. She’s 100% liberal according to what Democrats say liberalism is supposed to mean, except she is against wars in the Middle East, which means she is an anti-Semite. She is pro-choice and pro-gay, but not necessarily onboard with puberty blockers for children, therefore she is Transphobic.

As Hillary Clinton explained, Tulsi Gabbard is a Russian asset of Vladimir Putin’s meant to destroy the Democratic party and Clinton personally. And when Donald Trump tried to open some sort of lines of negotiation with North Korea, Gabbard endorsed his attempt, which makes Tulsi Gabbard “Trumpian” on foreign policy, which means she is bad because Orange Man is Bad.

Now we’re all supposed to Keep Kayfabe here. So no noticing that Gabbard is, in fact, a Deep, Deep Insider, part of the CFR circle, a “Globalist” in the sense of “America and our European partners should run things, not the Chinese or Israelis” – which also makes her an Anti-Semite and quite possibly a Nazi, not to mention Sinophobic.

She is literally the Perfect Feminist, except she’s popular among Racist Patriarchs because she’s good-looking for a politician, which makes her the Worst Feminist. She’s also popular among a certain class of White people who are Alt-Right, which also makes her a KKK Racist, except she’s technically a Person of Color but possibly White Adjacent.

But mainly we all MUST oppose Tulsi Gabbard because she represents a portion of the ruling class that won’t necessarily put Israel and Jews first – which does, technically, make her a Nazi. It is 100% certain that when she runs for President again, True Conservative Christians like Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio – and that Black guy from South Carolina – will point out her vicious Anti-Semitism and Hatred For Our Greatest Ally Israel.

She doesn’t take the threat of Iran seriously but she is also very Islamophobic because of the Hindu thing.

Whatever. I don’t care. Imagine how wonderful our teeth will look.