Everyone knows that BLM, Antifa, and Hamas are going to stage the revolution after they steal the election from Donald Trump with mountains of fake ballots cast by long-dead voters. Donald Trump will be arrested, and Hillary Clinton will be declared President and Michelle Obama will become Vice President. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will be named the new FBI director and all patriots will be rounded up and sent to Antifa re-education camps.

Just like after the Boston Marathon Bombings done by Radical Islamists that were totally not CIA assets and definitely not connected to Chechen rebels supported by the State Department, Obama’s Civilian Squads will go house-to-house confiscating AR-15’s and burning Bibles and American flags.

Will YOU be ready?

The time to prepare is NOW. And an easy way to prepare – in fact, it’s a no-brainer – is by purchasing these high-quality tactical pants.

When the fit hits the shan, you don’t want to be caught in skinny hipster jeans. You will need a pant that is tactical in order to tactically fend off Obama’s Iranian invasion force.

BH – which stands for “Bad-Ass Hipster” – can recommend this pant from TruSpec.

Of course, as Nancy Pelosi’s Covid-19 lockdowns have destroyed America’s food supply chains, you’ll need to load up on MRE’s.

The amateur might think, “well maybe I’ll just buy an extra month or so of regular groceries” but that would be a typical amateur mistake. MRE’s are tactical food used by actual operators. They last forever and come in a really cool thick plastic bag, which lasts longer than non-tactical food items.

BH recommend these MRE’s (full disclosure, BH Comms LLC gets a commission each time you click on our Amazon Affiliate Link.)

Genuine U.S. Military Surplus Ready to Eat Meals (12 Packs)

In an emergency situation, it pays to keeps your naughty bits warm. That is why BH is proud to announce a new partnership with LAPoliceGear.com to offer these Tactical Performance Briefs, the most performant and most tactical brief on the market today.

Last but most certainly not least:

What is going to happen if you are hunkered down in the woods, enjoying a hot MRE, when a team of Obama’s Iranian IRG’s enter your LOS, but your weapons are 100 meters away? You have no time to strap up.

What will you do? Will you surrender and covert to Islam, bow down and say “Black Lives Matter?”

Well, you won’t have to if you happen to be eating your MRE’s with the most essential piece of gear yet: the Tactical Spork.

Ka-Bar® Tactical Spork, which is made from food and water approved Grilamid, is equipped with a fork/spoon combo and has a serrated knife hidden in the handle.

The knife is accessed by pulling the spork in opposite directions from each extreme end. NOTE: Avoid gripping the flat panel area in the middle of the Spork – this is actually part of its lock. The tighter you hold here, the more difficult it will be for you to pull out the knife!

Measures 6.875" overall
Blade length 2.5"
Weighs 0.1 lb.
Made in the USA

What’s a day at the office without your tactical necktie and tactical suspenders? You never know when those damn Koreans are gonna go Red Dawn on the accounting firm you work at. And when you get off work and fire up that barbecue, the best way to not be caught dead in your own yard is to be prepared for anything in your tactical grill apron.

And hey there buddy, got the time? You will with your tactical wristwatch! THIS WATCH IS MADE BY A NAVY SEAL WHICH MEANS YOU WILL BE A NAVY SEAL TOO IF YOU WEAR IT! Extra points if you use the tactical Escape and Evasion watch band to turn your CIA timepiece into the ultimate tactical self-extraction apparatus!

I literally typed the most far-fetched thing I could think of into Google – “tactical condom” – and guess what? Not only do they make digi-cam tactical condoms in an ammo box dispenser, but they make tactical MOLLE pouches specifically for mounting them to your armor, fanny pack, necktie, butt plug, or whatever other bullshit you’ve strung MOLLE webbing on.

Tactical Everything? Go Tactically Fuck Yourself — Erik The Red, November 10, 2014